Explanations & Expirations

I'll be the first to say that there isn't always an explanation for things. Simply it's just "because". Like why you picked 2% milk instead of whole milk. Or why you wanted to cook chicken instead of steak for dinner. Why food? Probably because I'm hungry. 

It can be really simple, like why the toolbox on your dad's truck slid into the bed mid-drive (That may have actually happened..), or it can be complicated and impacting. Something that defines you as a person, whether you want it to or not. It can be a place, thing, or person. Especially a person. 

We, as humans, can never know exactly why something happens or how something happens in our lives. Either minuscule or major. Also, as humans, can never get enough of a good thing. It's just in our nature to always want more. To do things that we really know shouldn't happen, but give into our wants and, what we think, needs and deserves. You very well may deserve it. You very well may not deserve it. But like all things (maybe not Twinkies...oh wait..) it has an expiration date. 

Life's sense of humor is sick and twisted. So much that it shouldn't even be considered humor. Just a sick and twisted mind. Writer, even. I like that better. Life is a sick and twisted writer. Sometimes I feel like the anonymous bystander who goes through all this shit and then ends up watching it manifest into something else right in front of their eyes. 

Here's the best way I can really explain it... You just got into a car crash. Boom. Life sucks for a hot second. But don't worry, you recover eventually. Only a month or so into recovery, you decide to take a walk. You know, get things off your mind. And just to be out of your house, right? On that walk you are taking in everything around you. The beauty of it all, because that accident could have very well taken your life. So you are thankful. And then you reach a familiar intersection. Not where the crash happened, but just from living in the same vicinity that you can recognize it. And you see your friend's car driving down the road to your right at this four-way intersection. They are waving at you. And you suddenly are compelled to look to your left to see another car speeding towards your friend's car. They are oblivious, your friend. And you try to speak, yell, do the chicken dance to get your friend's attention but your are frozen. Feet firmly glued to the earth. Forced to watch a car crash in slow motion, knowing it's going to happen, but your friend is still so unresponsive. 

And you remember, this has happened to you. You remember how oblivious you were and at the same time so alert just as it was happening, changing your life, frightening you. Making you something different. They are moving in slow motion now, eventually the two cars will hit. Either you warn them, or you watch. Sometimes you can only watch, not on purpose or by choice, but by some law of life. 

That's a pretty twisted way of explaining it. But I think its some weird form of transferable karma. There's no explanation as to why bad things happen to good people, or vise versa. 

Good things can happen to good people, though. Just, sometimes it feels like they aren't so good when they eventually do expire.

That's all for now, thanks.

High Drive

It's incredible to think how much has happened in the last couple weeks, and how much is going to happen in the weeks to come. Sometimes, actually more than not, I find myself not being in touch with life and time. I let my mind run faster than I can possibly keep up with. 

It's normal, right?

Think about it. How fast do we live our lives? What "speed" do you have to be in to be able to function? How many cups of coffee do you have to drink to wake up? Why do you need that new car that can go up to 180 mph (but still very Eco-friendly)? That cell phone of yours in your hand or pocket, or laptop sitting at your desk or on your lap? How fast can it go? Is it on that new "faster-and-better" service that can bring up a page in under .2 seconds? Or has it's own secretary at the command of your voice? 

I'm just as guilty, really. My days are permanently in high drive, but I somehow find time to try and slow down when I can. I find time for the people I know, for the friends I've been close with, and the ones I've loved. I get caught up in the speed. My emotions are the first to feel it and fall to it. To crumble under the speed and then thinking clearly is completely thrown out the window. And then I'm thrown back down to reality where things have taken a turn for the worse.

But we can be repaired.

Take time to think, to be thankful for the things you have and the things that you were given, for the people you've known and for the ones you have loved or still love. On the subway or the bus, before work in the morning while you're drinking that fifth cup of coffee before braving the traffic, or after work or school. Don't become so wrapped up and cocooned in the speed of things where you can't see what could be right in front of you the entire time. 

You'll never know what will turn up if you live without your finger glued to the fast-forward button. 

Thanks for listening